4 Ideas for Maintaining Long-Distance Friendships

"If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” – Winnie the Pooh

Long distance stinks. That’s just the truth. The stereotype of long-distance seems to do with romantic relationships, but I would argue that long-distance friendships stink as well. I’m not talking about the kind of friends that you acknowledge when passing by them at the office or at class. I’m talking about those friends to whom you tell every little thing, and who you’re used to living every story with. It’s that kind of friendship which can particularly be a challenge during times like this. If you’re feeling the ache of missing those friends, and also wondering how to liven up those friendships during quarantine and social distancing, here are four different ideas to help maintain long-distance friendships.

1. Be Creative

If you’re anything like me, texting can get really old, really fast. Texting can also be unsatisfying as you lose tone of voice and face-to-face interaction. To be perfectly honest, I currently have a twitch in my left thumb, which I’m convinced is from trying to squeeze too much conversation into text! But the good news is: texting is not the only option. And I’m not saying you have to just do a phone call instead, even though phone calls are great. This is a great chance to be creative. I have friends who set a time to all Zoom together, and we ended up talking for three hours nonstop! Another idea is to start a movie at the same time and Face-time each other to provide the commentary. You can also play games over these platforms if you try hard enough. Take this time to write letters back and forth to some friends. Face-time a friend and workout together. Bake cookies and leave them in people’s mailboxes with cute notes! My point is, get creative in the ways you communicate with friends, and you’ll be able to still share experiences together over long-distance that can be fun and life-giving.

2. Be Vulnerable

You might be thinking, “that sounds great, but I don’t like Face-time and all that stuff.” Don’t worry, I know the phone phobia feeling. Sometimes my phone will ring and I’ll just stare at it because of how nervous I am of picking it up. I think I’m the most awkward person in the world when it comes to communicating over technology. If that’s you, that doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from these forms of communication. I suggest telling a good friend how you feel about phone communication, and then ease into calling and Face-timing with them. If you feel better being in a group where you don’t have to talk as much, try to get a group call going. Another great app which might relieve some stress is Marco Polo, which allows you to send videos of yourself but it’s not a live communication. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and tell your friends that keeping up with communication has been hard for you. If they’re good friends, they will understand. And hey, they might even be experiencing the same trouble.

3. Be Consistent

Friendships take effort, and if you think that long-distance friendships don’t, you’re wrong. Do your best at reaching out to your friends and touching base with them. Even though there might not be any big life updates to share, a quick message telling them you’re thinking of them and praying for them can mean the world. We all know our friends best, and know which ones are more in need of frequent contact. For some friends, it is harder for them to spend time at home, so consider making an effort to reach them. Ultimately, be consistent and intentionally put in the work to check in with your close friends. I know it can be tempting to let things slide, but if you’re wishing others did it for you, start the trend. Get outside of your comfort zone and the Netflix hole. Watch your step and try not to fall off the face of the earth.

4. Be Realistic

This last point ties into number 3. Yes, do your best to be consistent in communication. But especially when it comes to your expectations of others, be realistic. I recently had a friend who suggested we Face-time every day. And while in theory that was a great idea, we realistically did not have enough time to schedule communication so regularly because of schoolwork and family time. If people don’t check in, it’s not because they’re done with the friendship. Depending on the nature of the friendship, and the personality of the friends, communication will be more or less frequent. Instead of worrying about the quantity of communication, focus rather on the quality of the communication and do your best to be intentional and present when you get the time to talk.

Long-distance doesn’t have to be a time when friendships and relationships suffer. Yes, it will be hard, but I believe there are virtues which can be grown only through times like this. These are some ideas which have been beneficial to me and my friendships, and I hope can serve you too.

No matter what your communication looks like, I encourage you to take Winnie the Pooh’s advice. Keep your friends in your hearts and in your prayers, and if you succeed in doing that, the distance will never seem as far.