The Cure to FOMO

It was a Saturday night in college and I was feeling lonely.

My roommate best friend had made plans with some of our mutual friends, and I wasn’t not invited, but I didn’t include myself because I knew they needed some time. You know what I mean. My boyfriend was having a dude’s night. I definitely wasn’t invited to that. Some of my other friends had made prior commitments, were traveling home, were “busy,” etc. Long story short, I found myself at 7 pm on a Saturday night with zero to no plans and even less than that when it came to a buddy to spend them with.

That’s when FOMO hit me hard… for the umpteenth time in my life.

I’ve always struggled with FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). It’s something that has plagued me ever since I became conscious that people could have a good time without me being there. And it is normally accompanied by many lies: The lie of not being wanted, the lie of being boring, the lie of being forgotten, and the list goes on.

I think we’ve all been down this road, and it is just that, a DOWNward spiral.

However, I considered myself a good Catholic girl, and as a good Catholic girl who experiences FOMO on the reg, I had become a veteran at my response. I lived on a campus that was blessed with a perpetual adoration chapel. Put me in a mood where I had nothing to do, nobody to do it with, was feeling bad for myself and all alone in the world? I would rather wallow in my self-pity in a chapel with Jesus than alone with Netflix. If I came out of the chapel with a tear-stained face at least I looked like an edgy holy person, and not just like a lonely dweeb, right? Plus, I hadn’t prayed for a few days so this was a good excuse.

During my self-pity brooding walk across campus, I came to the realization that in order for a perpetual adoration chapel to be perpetual some poor soul must take the Friday and Saturday evening holy hours. “What a loser,” I immediately thought. “Only a person with no friends would willingly choose their holy hour to be during prime-time social hour. Get a life.” But, if you didn’t know this already I’ll tell it to you now; God has a sense of humor. When I reached the doors of the chapel, I was shocked to be met with many familiar faces: the faces of some of the most respected and admired students on the entire campus. The kind of people who are “good popular.” The kind of people who definitely had a life. The kind of people who I would expect to be extremely sought after on a Saturday night.

And yet these people were choosing to spend their Saturday evening in a time of silent prayer and adoration.

The Lord spoke to me that night in a way I’ll never forget. And the center of His gentle message, I believe, holds the key to overcoming FOMO for good.

The truth of the matter is, there is no place in the entire world in which we will be more seen, more known, or more loved, than in the presence of Jesus Christ. Through the gift of adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, we are given the opportunity to sit with the One who loves us more than anyone else. We can sit with Love itself.

This begs the question: if I was given the choice, would I choose to spend time with Him, or would I choose to spend time doing something else? Where do my priorities truly lie? Too often do I go to prayer “when I have nothing better to do.” Too often do I choose my social life and relationships over my relationship with the Lord. And this is not to say that social life and earthly relationships are bad. Far from it. But what can be bad is when our relationship with God is put on the back burner, or is squeezed in around our other commitments and relationships. What would life look like if we worked it the other way around? What would happen if we scheduled our lives around our times with the Lord in prayer?

I’ll tell you the answer I’ve come to: I think we would be cured of FOMO.

When FOMO hits hard, and I am craving and missing intimacy with those in my life, I remind myself of the truth: with Jesus in the Eucharist, I can experience a deeper intimacy than I possibly can with anyone else on this earth. I believe that very frequently we over complicate things. We think we need to be constantly involved, constantly included, and constantly invited in order to be successful and content. Those students in the chapel, however, modeled otherwise. They had discovered the source of success and contentment. Rather than thinking of all the things I was missing, I finally uncovered what I had found. Whether in adoration or simply in prayer, Jesus desires nothing more than to spend time with us and reveal how much He loves us. It brings Him immeasurably joy when we spend time with Him in prayer. He desires to see us so badly. Next time FOMO strikes, I encourage you to ask Jesus to be present to you and ask Him to remind you of His love. I encourage you to grapple with the fact that He loves us more than our friends, our family, or anyone else ever could. What better person to spend your time with?

You just might have the best Saturday night of your life. I did.

“Better is one day in Your courts, than a thousand elsewhere.” - Psalm 84:10